I’m going to start selling my paintings in response to numerous requests. Here’s one that I did in November 2003 of white lilies on a terra cotta tile (click to enlarge):

If you’re interested in buying one or have an idea for a subject email me or comment on this post.

The story of Otterman Tandy goes back many, many years. Experts cannot seem to agree on which of the ancient texts first acknowledged her, but one thing is for certain… she does exist.

The Egyptians mentioned her on the walls of the pyramid Cheops as “Pharox,” a great woman, perhaps even a goddess. She is shown dressed in gold and jade with her head held high and a basket of fruit at her feet, standing at her side is a shining little white animal with the head of a lamb and the body of a dog. The Italian poet Virgil, in his epic “Aeneid,” describes her as a young beauty with porcelain skin and hair of woven gold and calls the creature at her side a “gleaming moon dog.” He labels her “patrono san del mammifero dell’acqua” or in english, “patron saint of the water mammal” and gives her the name “Tande,” which is still used today. She and her little white creature were also the subject of many stone carvings crafted by the Mayan indians. Little is known about the rituals and beliefs of the Mayans, but it is clear that they held her in high esteem.

Otterman Tandy lives deep in the ocean, off the coast of New Zealand. Few have actually seen her but it is estimated that millions, perhaps billions, have seen her luminescent creature at night and mistaken it for the moon. The creature is most popularly known as Hone-di, although her name varies from culture to culture. Hone-di possesses the ability to fly and is reputed to have a heart of gold, nipples of steel, and teeth of titanium. The bright, cloud-like halo that surrounds Hone-di is known as “bont,” it is a form of glowing fur that occurs only when sottryn-54 is present in the earth’s atmosphere. Sottryn-54 is created within the bodies of hungry sea otters and is exhaled through the lungs along with carbon dioxide.

Most people don’t realize that a sea otter’s diet consists mainly of potatoes, cucumbers, cheese fries, and sometimes carrots. Since vegetables don’t just grow in the ocean and otters can’t cook cheese fries, somebody has to feed them. Otterman Tandy is that somebody. She is to otters what Santa Clause is to good little children. So the next time you hear the baying of a hungry sea otter or look up at the night sky to see a pale, glittering moon; remember the tale of Otterman Tandy, patron saint of the water mammal.

“La tiste mi morel” or in english, “I like the taste of my morel.” Morels are tasty mushrooms found in abandoned ships that have sunk to the ocean floor, long ago. Dogs like em, and I do too. This is my webpage and I don’t take shit from anyone.